To be honest…

To be honest…

…this writer needs to face and solve a personal problem, before he feels comfortable again to give advice and inspiration to others.

My writing is always inspired by what I read, experience and see in others. I believe in what I write, and have seen it work.

But there are times when you are faced with things in life, when you make mistakes, and then you have to be honest with yourself and others. Then you have to solve the problems first.

And once the problems are solved, I will have learned important lessons, which will, I hope, further inspire others.

All love, patience and blessings for the dear people who take the time reading me – and of course to anyone who needs that!

Marcel

 

Image: Caspar David Friedrich, Morgen im Riesengebirge

Words of Wisdom for 2018

Words of Wisdom for 2018

Happy New Year and all the love and blessings you need!

I usually don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions (Actually, I still don’t), and casual words of wisdom related to Christmas, New Year’s Eve or any other occasion typically strike me as a bit naïve.

Change comes when it has to, when the person is ready. But even if we are not ready, some inspiration may be taken to heart, only to be used at a later time.

Here are some “words of wisdom” which are based on my own experience, some day they may be of use to those who are able to relate.

 

The key to win the hearts of others is to find your inner purity and calmness, and allow others to share in that still water, absorbing all imperfections and allowing them to be themselves.

 

The solution to solve conflicts is to give up the need for “justice”, as that is just an ego thing, but to replace it with understanding and acceptance, without sacrificing or changing yourself into an expectation of others.

 

Sometimes suffering due to mistakes in life is unavoidable, because spiritual growth depends on the progression of insight, and if you are not ready for the next step upwards, you need to fall downwards first.

 

Using medicine or therapy to solve Issues might help you daily life get on track, but often these problems have an important story to tell, and the lessons learned from these stories may inspire the great things that we often admire or envy in others.

 

 

Let 2018 be the year of purity, the year in which we listen to the stories that our challenges and tragedies are trying to tell us!

About the picture: Caspar David Friedrich – Der Wanderer über dem Nebelmeer (Wikimedia Commons)

The Secret of True Change

Last time I visited my father, he could hardly maintain a simple conversation. He recognized me, but did not say much, apart from, ‘Can I have another cigarette?’

Now he lives in his own world. I do not know what happens in there. That was 3 years ago, just before I moved from the Netherlands to Indonesia.

Doctors called it “early demetia” – he was around 65 when they said that.

As for me, I think it was his way of escaping from his fears and troubles. He has always been struggling to overcome his fears, fears for new things and life’s challenges. He battled it with thinking, obsessive habits and hobbies, and alcohol and cigarettes. But fear always got the upper hand.

 

I recognize that struggle, in a way, that war continues in me, his son. But I have had the luxury of time, education and a philosophical curiosity which helped me learn about myself, about life, and about psychology and spirituality. I do not want to fight, I want to understand. But that’s not easy.

But the first thing I discovered is that fear cannot be conquered.

 

Change cannot be forced. What a frustrating realization!

So what then, give up?

 

In a way, yes. The secret is to EMBRACE fear, to welcome your inner demons as friends, not fiends. As change cannot be forced, it must COME ABOUT BY ITSELF.

Change is already there, it is part of nature, part of being human. Your true self is always changing – although in a way it also remains the same, as change is not an absolute state, but rather a part of the umlimited, interconnected whole of the ultimate reality.

 

But basically, we are born to change. What happens when we don’t change, is that we are BLOCKING it, out of fear and the desire to be IN CONTROL.

Control and fear come from the Thinking Mind, the EGO. It creates a false sense of control, a false universe, defended with fear and other emotions or obsessions.

 

But once you realize that, you must come to the conclusion that embracing fear means embracing change and embracing opportunities.

 

So the secret is to learn how to welcome fear and change, to accept it just as we accept all our thoughts and fears. But, the Thinking Mind might fight back.

Addictions, obsessions, more fears. What to do if it is simply too much? COMPASSION. Compassion and gratitude. They open the gateway to the whole, they free you from the chains of the selfish, but poisonous EGO.

 

So practice ACCEPTANCE, COMPASSION, and GRATITUDE  every day!

 

A small note: I realize that I’ve written about my father and have an opinion about his condition. That is not to say I know everything about it, from a medical or other point of view. But from my experience with him, from my own experiences and those of many people I met, from my studies and countless other resources, I know that a medical condition does not exist on its own, it is strongly influenced by the psychological. And I have been a witness to his struggles, and really believe that these have influenced the onset and prognosis of his early onset frontotemporal dementia.

The Power of Perceptive Parenting

Tantrums and parental conundrums.

Raising kids is one of the most challenging “professions”. Being a parent is a “job” that lasts for years or even a lifetime, and you cannot – reasonably – quit or ask for better terms and benefits.

 

Before they go to school, those fascinating creatures under your charge will learn mostly in the environment sustained by their parents, but as soon as school comes into the picture, this shaping and modelling environment expands, and other rolemodels will start setting the examples. And don’t forget that they have their very own temperaments, finetuned to their own needs, not yours.

 

Yes, it can be rewarding at times, when they show their affection or proudly demonstrate the new skills they’ve acquired. But often you might feel powerless and tired.

 

So if we feel overpowered and exhausted, what is the biggest Issue? Perception. I will explain later.

 

As a parent, I have learned about, and tried to use, authoritative and permissive styles, and a mixture thereof.

Many people have been giving advice, often contradicting that of others. I did not even try popular books, that follow trends every few years. It just doesn’t add up for me.

 

But I started to pay attention to what was actually going on when I felt like a bad parent. I noticed that if I was tired, feeling out of control, or otherwise struggling with myself, my kids were also more restless, naughty and moody.

 

The first thing I tried to change was aligning my behavior with my words. So instead of just asking or commanding them things to do, I would also make myself a rolemodel, acting out what I said. That helped to some extent, but I still felt discord and frustration.

 

Then I went a little deeper, trying to open myself to the kinds of spiritual ideas I have been playing with for the last few years. Then it became evident to me that the kids connected to whatever state of consciousness I was in.

If I felt harmony, positivity and control, they would be easier to manage too. If I slid into a state of “duality” and my thinking mind would pull me into negative spirals of thoughts, the resulting disfunctional emotional chaos would be picked up by my kids and they would express the same kind of chaos in a different way. They would either be angry, naughty, unmotivated or they would just complain all the time. They would seek attention, any type of attention, even negative.

 

But, the key was not just the attention, because that would not lift them up to a more balanced state of mind. The key was the kind of attention that would help them connect to MY unity, rather than MY duality.

 

So, how to do this?

First you need to create unity in yourself (please refer to earlier posts about [non-]duality and living in the present) and observe and accept everything, resulting in freedom and peace of mind. You will notice that it gives you a perception of control. Not full control, that’s fear, but the kind of control a surfer has over his surfboard while mastering the big waves of the sea. Then, PERCEIVE.

Perceive the duality in your child. Understand it, act it out and respond to it, without using your own sense of unity. Then, once that ship is sailing, wait patiently for your child to slowly, but surely, connect to you. Invite them softly, absorb their expressions of disruptive emotions and duality without judging, without being triggered into an emotional state too – apart from kindness.

You can often cancel disruptive emotions by working with opposite states, like waves with opposite forms that cancel each other out, but eventually silent and peaceful acceptence will be the state of mind that the are invited into, so they can fully connect to unity.

I know this sounds easier than it actually is, and a little abstract, but it is something you can experiment with, if you already have a little bit of a background in spiritual ideas related to non-duality.

 

And this works in any type of relationship, not just the relationship with your kids.

Perceive, be, accept, connect.

The Paradoxical Need for Suffering

To be honest, I’m horrified by suffering.

My own sufferings, though perhaps modest in comparison to those of others, mostly left me furious, and full of doubt and disappointment. But one thing I know for sure now – as sure as a man can be in a subjective universe – is that I learned something in every single troublesome period of my life, a necessity of experience and insight that I would never have been able to acquire had I not suffered the way I did.

 

I am not going to preach here – let’s leave out religious opinions that so commonly ignite fires of disagreement or even are a cause for contempt – just going to share my experience and insights. I have struggled with cancer and with loads of personal and family drama, but I do not regret having experienced those things. What I DO regret, is that I was unable to accept everything the way it was, that I resisted, fought, and over-analyzed everything. But even that has, on the long run, helped me gain knowledge and tools that are very useful now.

 

But enough about me, let’s try to see it from a different perspective. Imagine you have a child that is suffering from cancer. Mayhaps a daughter, a charming little five-year-old daughter. She still has a long, beautiful life ahead of her, many friends to make, smiles to show and tears to shed. But all of that will be taken away, because that horrible sickness is devouring her every molecule of hope and livelihood. To make things worse, the monster that’s eating her up also makes her suffer, her every waking breath one of agonizing pain.

 

Now here comes the clue. There is a treatment. It is a proven treatment, will leave her fully cured and with no risk involved, because the doctors know what they’re doing, and they are one hundred percent dedicated to your lovely little girl. There is only one problem: it is very painful. It will make her scream, she will have nightmares and at night she will wake up and curse you and the doctors for doing that to her. But it is the only way, and once that short, but horrible treatment is over, she will be healthy, strong, and, as a side-effect, she will also forget what she went through, a no-trauma guarantee.

 

Suffering she will, even without the treatment. But without the treatment, there is no hope. With the treatment, she will go through a hell of pain and fear, but after that it will be like she’s reborn.

The question is: what would you choose as a parent?

Short, severe, suffering, with the prospect and certainty of having a perfectly healthy happy daughter afterwards?

Or call off the treatment, but let her slowly die a death that leaves her without any hope of betterment, of happiness, of life?

If she resists the treatment, she will suffer longer, but eventually, she will cure. The only thing needed is for you to sign the parental consent form, for she is underage.

What would you do?

 

Some spiritual truths, whether we believe in them or not, are very counter-intuitive, very hard to swallow, even disgusting in our common sense of morality. But I believe, in the greater perspective of the higher realm of reality, where there are no absolute differences, where there exists no absolute suffering, and where there are no absolute time or space, it all makes sense. And suffering makes sense too, but only if we submit, accept and reach a higher plain of insight, where the little events of daily material life, that haunt us all the time, seem insignificantly small and meaningless.

 

I have learned personally that suffering made me wiser, and also happier. It left me with scars, but the scars healed and eventually made me a more multi-dimensional person. Whenever I was able to submit, and let go, the suffering was short and less painful, but each time I got upset and resisted, it left me cursing and crying in agony and self-pity. And the times when I SHOULD have received some trials, and they did not appear, I became a lesser me, with some of my resolve and wisdom dissolved, and it created problems I could have avoided otherwise.

 

For me, and maybe also for you, suffering is actually beneficial, it is the treatment that, while enduring it, might seem like unfair and horrible, but which, once you submit to it and let it heal you, will make you a better you, a stronger you!

 

Of course that does not mean that you should seek out suffering, and especially not affect others with it. The beneficial type of suffering is the one that comes uninvited, throught the agency of life events that all play a roll in the greater script, the drama script of the omniverse of the higher reality.

I, the Stubborn, Arrogant Writer, Refuse to Conform

I refuse to conform.

Short sentences!

Show, don’t tell!

Not too many characters!

Avoid using too much imagery!

Stay away from cliches!

Don’t be too abstract!

Not too philosophical!

 

I refuse.

Refuse to give in to what modern writers’ communities, and readers’ communities alike, keep asking me to conform to.

Call me arrogant, call me stubborn, or any other type of negative personality adjective.

But I refuse.

 

Why?

 

I believe in what I have to say. There is a reason for me writing the way I do. Changing my style feels like treachery, betrayal of my true self and what my true self has to say. I am not a prophet, not a Messiah who receives divine messages through the whisperings of an angel. But I do believe in the meaning, perpective and the form of the tale I have to tell. It is of the utmost importance that I stay true to myself. And so should you, if you are a writer. But that’s off-topic.

 

These days people get used to short catchy sentences, fast visuals and concrete, straight-to-the-point messages. Faster and easier to digest for a informational digestion system that is already being stuffed with information and either develops mental indigestion or intellectual diarrhea. But informational fast food comes at a cost. We lose the wonders of pondering, the miracle of discovering hidden truths, and the majestic rewards that can be given to patient readers.

 

What do I want to write, being such a arrogant, stubborn and demanding writer?

Fantasy and hopefully some wisdom, treasures of insight and life lessons, the reward for the patient seeker.

But even though I create my own world, have more or less unique races, and even use monsters, magic and many more of such fantasy cliches, I do not want it to be “just an exciting, action-packed story.”

 

What I want to show is the perspective of the characters, in a way that is much more profound, showing how they psychologically deal with all the events that, to me, in most other fantasy stories, just seem to be added purely for suspense. I want to pull the readers into psychological depths, not with difficult jargon and academics, but by begging their patience in following long trains of thoughts and related conversations that are so common in our daily struggles with life, but are mostly filtered out in modern storytelling. Not to bore the readers, but to offer a deeper insight into motivations, into the processing of traumata and other events, and into personal development – or the stagnation thereof.

 

I realize that much of this can also be done through “show”, actions speaking for thoughts, but I believe that it leaves too much to the interpretation of the readers – which in itself is not bad, it makes the story unique for every reader. I want to offer different perspectives, not just their projections, so the readers can really learn about the characters in great detail, and learn from them, live with them.

And, in a way, they will have the privilege of looking inside my head, as the writing reveals a lot about me. I am confident that they, by learning about my struggles and subsequent victories and insights, through the experiences of the story’s characters, can also learn how to deal with their own struggles.

 

At times I really NEED abstract, philosophical or flowery language, in order to make the read work, sweat and bleed, so that their rewards will be equally more profound, as they have to go into the depths of their own experience and intellectual treasures as well, if they want to be able to find an answer that makes sense.

It might seem that the storyline cools down to absolute zero, an eternal static nothingness, but that will only be temporary, as temperature is soon to rise again, allowing for more action and (relatively) fast dialogues.

 

I am not ashamed to say that I borrow cliches and tropes from time to time, because in my experience that some of the more noticeable ones became cliches because they touch universal truths and challenges, that mankind has to face in all ages, all generations. Like archetypes that stand out in the seemingly seemingly endless varieties of personalities and conditions. Of course, I try to be original and authentic wherever I can, but I will use both my own ideas and some (slightly modified) tropes to help my readers connect to powerful ideas, which are supposedly equally insightful and entertaining.

 

I write for readers who like to be challenged, especially young readers, as the main characters are mostly teenagers. I seek brave souls who dare to jump into the deep end of the pool of mental struggle, diving to the bottom to find hidden treasure, treasure that will help them find meaning, hope, and wisdom, most notable also their own (often ignored) wisdom.

 

I write for fighters, for those who want to fight for ideas and who do not take wisdom for granted. I aim at adventurers who LOVE struggle, who CRAVE storms and turmoils of ink and words in order to achieve inner calm and enlightenment.

I write for the generation that wants to believe in itself.

Egoverse Ad Nauseam

The observable universe seems infinitely vast.

To grasp this, you might want to find some movies that show the scale, comparing the microscopic smallest world of quarks and counter-intuitive natural laws to the macroscopic largest world of the cosmic web containing billions of galaxies. However, this dazzling realization is not the same as a universe that extends “ad infinitum”. It HAS limits.

What’s more, we are not privileged to fully experience this universe in its entirety, in all its countless possible states. We are confined to the universe that we experience inside our heads, inside our minds. Of course, we reconstruct (our understanding of) the supposed outer universe in that mind using information relayed by our optical pathways and processed by our brains. But still, it is OUR experience of that universe, not the entity itself.

 

The story doesn’t end there. The visual system and also our cognitive processes are prone to error. That doesn’t mean we cannot gather a consistent body of knowledge about the universe, but it DOES mean we cannot always trust our experiences. To make things worse, we do not just experience, we attribute value to everything we experience. It is a colored layer of desires, fears, expectations, stereotypes, and other devices of our mind. We are not just independent observers. We WANT something from that universe, just as there are many things we do NOT WANT.  As I may have been able to demonstrate in earlier writings, this is due to the “Thinking Mind”, or EGO, trying to safeguard its perfect little world of self-indulgence. It can be of the highest intellectual standards, but if it serves the ego, it is only to maintain, and expand – under its very own conditions – its own mind universe – which I will call “egoverse”.

 

The egoverse works with strong gravitational forces: desires and fears become obsessions that attract all free matter and enprison it into an ever expanding black hole of tragic slavery to the whims of the thinking mind. That dungeon might be veiled under illusions of material, physical, emotional and rational bliss, but since the thinking mind actually has no creative powers of its own, the veils eventually MUST fall. And when they do, it might be too late to escape, as one may well have passed the horizon of no return – like in the case of a “real” black hole.

 

The egoverse is not just a solid block of unity and harmony. There are conflicts and different galaxies, related to different, contrasting desires, thoughts, conceptions of self, emotional conditioning and many more, each forming their own clusters, but also slowly, but surely, gravitating towards their doom.

 

However, as I have tried to demonstrate in other articles, that egoverse is not the true universe, or omniverse, of existence. The “true self”, the source of all experience, of consciousness, is hiding behind all those illusions. The unimaginable world in which that true self resides, that is both infinitely small and united, but at the same time endlessly vast and diverse, is where everything comes from, inclusing the fabrications of the thinking mind and its egoverse. But fully embracing the true self and its true reality would be the end of the thinking mind’s rule, so it tries to defend its homeland, its galaxies. Desires and flawed or false impressions of “reality” are one way, but fear is another.

It takes tremendous courage and faith to cross the boundary between the fake and the real, so it appears as some kind of void, or fear substratum. The fear substratum is like the basis of most of the experiences in the egoverse, it is like the dust from which the galaxies of ignorance are born.

 

Everything threatens to collapse once we consider embracing the true self and its true reality, and the frightening void seems to be able to devour us while trying to escape her unforgiving claws and teeth. But face it we must, if we want to be able to find real bliss, real meaning and real purpose.

If we pass the trial of the fear substratum and “go where no man has gone before” – or at the very least, where only a happy few have ever ventured – we might just find exactly the things we’ve been looking for, in vain, in the more current universe: love, freedom and gratitude for the endless blessings that come with the true reality, which really goes “ad infinitum.”

 

Eventually, the egoverse will not go “ad infinitum”, but rather “ad finitum” (it will come to a horrible end) and “ad nauseam” (it will make you sick, sick of obsession in a black hole of agony – which might be a metaphorical “hell”).

So, which way do you want to go?

The Abnormality of Normality

Imagine you are, involuntarily, joining a sect the members of which are as cruel as you can imagine. They sacrifice human lives and feast in blood while they praise some bloodthirsty deity that inspires deeds that make the average terrorist seem like a peace-loving citizen.
Now, if that sect would take over the world, it would become “the norm”.
Now there are a handful of people like you. A minority. You are who you are now – you don’t believe in violence and evil deities. Are you what would be considered “normality”?
Statistically and socially, you wouldn’t be – not in that scenario.
You might argue that there are other frameworks of reference to determine “normality”, but that is not what I think is meant by “being normal” in popular usage.
Being extraordinary is most certainly not normal. But many of us enjoy peace, technology, art and healthcare that extraordinary humans helped made possible.
Being spiritually so advanced that you renounce the material and embrace the immaterial – becoming again the being of pure, shapeless light and love you actually are at the deepest level – is as abnormal as can be.
Greed is normal. Ignorance is. Lust for power. Herd behavior is too.
Kindness is rare, selflessness rarer, enlightenment possibly impossible.
At least from a “normal” point of view.
It might be different from a spiritual point of view.
But only the smallest of minorities understands that, whereas the vast majority claims the truthfulness of their “norm”.
So what to do?
At the very least, for one fricking day, try NOT to be normal, try to be extraordinarily abnormal! Abnormal in embracing the abnormality of spiritual growth!

Follow the waveform of love and change, if you submit and open your mind, you will recognize it. You surf it, and if you fall, you just get back up and continue surfing. Don’t make it too complicated. It’s not about weird rituals or pseudo-scientific philosophies. It’s about you no longer restraining your true self, but hugging it, as you should hug change and love. Identify with the crystal-clear voice of goodness and power inside your heart, let go of vanities and the show of illusional shadows in which we are starring as sorrowful actors every day. Just trust what feels as pure and good and ignore what does not. You deserve it!

The Crazy Craving for Power

After digesting too much mainstream news, you cannot feel but helpless and pessimistic. If you try to follow stories and sources that supposedly expose the falsity or at least incompleteness of mainstream news, you get an ever grimmer view on this world.

It seems like exploitation, corruption, fraud, theft and oppression is everywhere. It is not a thing of the barbaric past. Neither is it something that only occurs in poor, over-stereotyped developing countries. It is a global, omnipresent “thing”.

I did not write this article to reveal the many secrets (or, for those who believe, conspiracies) that prevent the general public from learning the horrible truths that keep a civilized future just that: a mere “future ideal”. It is up to you to dig and try to figure out how deep down the rabbit hole you’d like to go.

I wrote this to talk more about the “omnipresent thing”. What thing? The craving for power, and all that is related to it (like the temptation of money). What follows is my take on it, my 2 cents.

 

If you have ever heard or read about chaos theory and the theory of complexity, than you might have an understanding of dynamic systems. I am not an expert, but it has influenced my thinking a lot. My idea is that we live in a world that is always changing. The only way for systems to continue their existence, is to adapt, to be dynamic. Otherwise they perish in chaos. Our thinking mind (see previous articles for more information about the thinking mind), which we may also call the Ego, is also like a system. It tries to maintain itself, and to experience a level of comfort while doing so.

 

What does the Ego need? It needs to be able to (or live under the suggestion that it can) exert control; it needs resources like people, self-worth, emotional resources, basic and higher levels of comfort, wealth and money, and energy; it needs the position to be able to leverage between resources, control and the environment.

 

The problems? There is competition, especially at the top of (let’s call it) the pyramid of social existence; resources are depletable and can only be renewed slowly; it is not possible to maintain control of an environment that is constantly changing without changing tactics, or “cheat”.

 

What does the Ego do? It fights the competition by socially acceptable means, or by other means (manipulation, cheating, corruption, extortion, etc.); it is greedy and takes more resources than it actually needs, lowering the chances of the “competition”; it fights a psychological war, by acquiring social or material status; it gains power in its environment and inspires fear into the competition. However, the thinking mind is not the real essence of being. The (let’s call it) soul-mind is the real source of life and consciousness and this pure source has to be intimidated into following the plans and ideas of the Ego, for actually the soul-mind (read more on the soul-mind in earlier articles) does not need the things that the Ego needs. So it has to use trickery in order to survive in its actual form. The Ego feels threatened in its existence and this perceived threat is greater, the higher it is on the ladder of status and power. It will let the soul-mind experience greater fear, and stronger levels of greed, desire for control and need for status.

At the same time, it will become insensitive to things that matter to the soul-mind (like the suffering of other beings, compassion,and empathy) and will offer “the easy way” for any perceived problem. To continue its manipulation and self-affirmation, it can also inspire religious justification for things that are actually more of a political and psychological nature.

 

We see many examples of such justification and manipulation around us, or on “the news”. But it has got nothing to do with spirituality, or even religion.

Is there an alternative? Yes! Power and material fortune, especially when acquired by less humane means, only go so far as to maintain the perceived comfort and control of the Ego. And although fear and greed will keep inspiring to continue on this negative path, the Ego cannot really offer anything lasting and deeply satisfying, it cannot give peace and meaning. The alternatives can, but the Ego feels threatened by them and will do anything to hide them from the soul-mind, its actual real essence. That’s why most people can easily be fooled, manipulated, brainwashed, indoctrinated and tempted.

 

But if they become aware of the false identification with the thinking mind, with the Ego, then they might learn how to let go and find something rewarding and peaceful that no worldy power or money could ever offer. And it is infinite, completely free and available to all!

People who embrace both their true soul-mind, who ignore (but not repress or fight) the illusions of the Ego, and who welcome change and the unknown of the real world that lies beyond this misleading, material one, those people will stop being victims of whatever manipulations or use of power they may be confronted with. It will affect their bodies, but not their soul-minds, and they will not feel the least threatened by it. Because nothing really holds power over us, unless we give it that power by identifying it as such and believing in its effects on us.

The reality that we are served every day by our Ego and the thinking minds of “the competition”, is limited by what can be perceived and constructed in the limited thinking mind world. However, those who partake in it will do anything to further their agendas. Those agendas will only cause suffering to people who still identify with the “thinking mind world”.

 

If you can ignore the screaming tantrums of the brutal, loud and childish thinking mind, the Ego, then you enter a realm of calm and peace. It is this realm that will allow you to see beyond, to welcome the definite reality where all true power and truth reside, where everything is clear and meaningful. In that state of being, the crazy craving for power is transformed in gratefulness and the admiration of the endless beauty of the omnipotent, the omnipresent and the omniscient being of oneness.

The Power of Lust

Why do we trouble ourselves with pleasures that only bring short term satisfaction?

Think of lust as a straight line, from the origin of imagination to the destination of realization. The line is under tension, it is released at fulfillment, but is stretched again soon after… endlessly.

We live in a world of pain and uncertainty and a straight line from chaos to an illusionary, but straight-forward heaven of bliss provides a way out. It is short-lived, of course, but the whole train of obsession that moves along the tracks of desire creates its own kind of false order, it keeps all the psychological chaos at bay. In a way, obsessions focus all our complex psychological energies together into a beam of unity, like a point or line. The mind is always struggling to define itself amidst a range of at times threatening, incomprehensible and opposing states of being and it seeks an equilibrium that obsessions can help provide.

 

Of course the mind can be fooled only so far and part of the tragedy is that we often already know how useless and harmful is the kind of fake unity offered by obsessions. But we still follow it, because we are bound to the sensations of the five senses and the characteristics of the thinking mind, if we are not able to transcend.

 

The “real kind of unity” is of a more spiritual nature and it provides a more profound kind of exstacy. To experience this deeper, unlimited and inexhaustible reality, however, we must be ready to sacrifice more than we usually care to part with. To the extent that the mind-world, where the ego reigns supreme, will feel itself threatened in its existence and will become the strongest opposing power.

If the ego finally fails to seduce the soul-mind –  the more real self beyond the limited illusion of the mind-world – into craving for the easily attainable nirvanas of physical and mental gratification, it will fall back on other strategies.

One of such strategies is to make it seem that the other, the “more real nirvana” can impossibly be attained by the individual, for instance by implanting the idea that the individual has committed too many “sins”, or is “lacking faith” in the “higher realms”.

This kind of manipulation is typical for the shadow side of the thinking mind.

Other tactics include creating a sense of self-pity and making the soul-mind believe that life is just opportunistic, and the higher reality nonexistent or unjust.

 

The key is to realize that suffering is only suffering because the soul-mind overly identifies itself with the material world, with the body – something which could be considered a trick of the shadow side of the thinking mind as well.

Suffering cannot be dismissed, but it is not absolute. However, the ego, the thinking mind, needs to propagate the idea that it IS ABSOLUTE, because suffering is in effect just a symptom of a more essential phenomenon: the chaos of change, which offers a way to the higher reality because it helps dissolve the order and structure of the illusions of the thinking mind’s experience. The irony is, though, that the thinking mind would not exist without the soul-mind, it is just a derivative thereof.

 

Fully embracing the way to the higher reality would mean the death sentence to the thinking mind, because all that defines it ceases to exist as soon as the veils of its illusions are lifted.

That’s why it has to make sure the soul-mind actually believes that suffering is real, and the higher reality, where it would be found relative, not. Why? Because if the soul-mind accepts this, it will steer away from suffering by all means possible, and the best and easiest means are the “solutions” offered in the form of obsession, the mini-nirvanas of physical and mental satisfaction.

 

But also the tools of science, logic, philosophy, personal experience and even the less spiritual aspects of religion will be used to keep the soul-mind away from the real solution. That’s not to say such areas are to be distrusted altogether, but they should be put into perspective.

Obsessions and lust will help escape emptiness, will escape the frightening idea of the ego’s death, even though they only create new emptiness and fears of themselves. That’s why the cycle usually becomes stronger and stronger, like in the case of addiction.

 

Fake-enlightenment keeps the soul-mind trapped, pulls if out of the light and into the shadows.

Coming to acknowledge this insight is a first step on the way to enlightenment, but the thinking mind is an enemy not easy to surrender and with plenty of tricks up its sleeve.

Perseverance is the hardest way, but the ONLY way.

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