Egoverse Ad Nauseam

The observable universe seems infinitely vast.

To grasp this, you might want to find some movies that show the scale, comparing the microscopic smallest world of quarks and counter-intuitive natural laws to the macroscopic largest world of the cosmic web containing billions of galaxies. However, this dazzling realization is not the same as a universe that extends “ad infinitum”. It HAS limits.

What’s more, we are not privileged to fully experience this universe in its entirety, in all its countless possible states. We are confined to the universe that we experience inside our heads, inside our minds. Of course, we reconstruct (our understanding of) the supposed outer universe in that mind using information relayed by our optical pathways and processed by our brains. But still, it is OUR experience of that universe, not the entity itself.


The story doesn’t end there. The visual system and also our cognitive processes are prone to error. That doesn’t mean we cannot gather a consistent body of knowledge about the universe, but it DOES mean we cannot always trust our experiences. To make things worse, we do not just experience, we attribute value to everything we experience. It is a colored layer of desires, fears, expectations, stereotypes, and other devices of our mind. We are not just independent observers. We WANT something from that universe, just as there are many things we do NOT WANT.  As I may have been able to demonstrate in earlier writings, this is due to the “Thinking Mind”, or EGO, trying to safeguard its perfect little world of self-indulgence. It can be of the highest intellectual standards, but if it serves the ego, it is only to maintain, and expand – under its very own conditions – its own mind universe – which I will call “egoverse”.


The egoverse works with strong gravitational forces: desires and fears become obsessions that attract all free matter and enprison it into an ever expanding black hole of tragic slavery to the whims of the thinking mind. That dungeon might be veiled under illusions of material, physical, emotional and rational bliss, but since the thinking mind actually has no creative powers of its own, the veils eventually MUST fall. And when they do, it might be too late to escape, as one may well have passed the horizon of no return – like in the case of a “real” black hole.


The egoverse is not just a solid block of unity and harmony. There are conflicts and different galaxies, related to different, contrasting desires, thoughts, conceptions of self, emotional conditioning and many more, each forming their own clusters, but also slowly, but surely, gravitating towards their doom.


However, as I have tried to demonstrate in other articles, that egoverse is not the true universe, or omniverse, of existence. The “true self”, the source of all experience, of consciousness, is hiding behind all those illusions. The unimaginable world in which that true self resides, that is both infinitely small and united, but at the same time endlessly vast and diverse, is where everything comes from, inclusing the fabrications of the thinking mind and its egoverse. But fully embracing the true self and its true reality would be the end of the thinking mind’s rule, so it tries to defend its homeland, its galaxies. Desires and flawed or false impressions of “reality” are one way, but fear is another.

It takes tremendous courage and faith to cross the boundary between the fake and the real, so it appears as some kind of void, or fear substratum. The fear substratum is like the basis of most of the experiences in the egoverse, it is like the dust from which the galaxies of ignorance are born.


Everything threatens to collapse once we consider embracing the true self and its true reality, and the frightening void seems to be able to devour us while trying to escape her unforgiving claws and teeth. But face it we must, if we want to be able to find real bliss, real meaning and real purpose.

If we pass the trial of the fear substratum and “go where no man has gone before” – or at the very least, where only a happy few have ever ventured – we might just find exactly the things we’ve been looking for, in vain, in the more current universe: love, freedom and gratitude for the endless blessings that come with the true reality, which really goes “ad infinitum.”


Eventually, the egoverse will not go “ad infinitum”, but rather “ad finitum” (it will come to a horrible end) and “ad nauseam” (it will make you sick, sick of obsession in a black hole of agony – which might be a metaphorical “hell”).

So, which way do you want to go?